Reading Genesis and Realizing I’d Totally Be Abram

At the start of the year, I confidently committed to “reading the Bible in a year.” You know the kind of confidence that lasts about a week. Very quickly, that plan softened into something more realistic: “reading some of the Bible every day of the year.” Progress.

I’ve learned that when I try to stick too tightly to a reading plan, it can turn into a box-ticking exercise. Read the chapters. Check the box. Move on. And somehow, in all that efficiency, I don’t always leave space for God’s Word to actually speak to me.

So I changed my approach. Now, before I read, I ask God to show me something about His nature and to give me one word or insight for the day. No pressure. No racing ahead. Just listening.

Which brings me back to Genesis. Again. This time, on a Monday, I landed in Genesis 15… and that’s where things got interesting.

In Genesis 15:1–5, God is speaking directly to Abram. And at this point in the story, it does seem that God is speaking in an audible way. The Holy Spirit had not yet been given in the indwelling sense we know today. That comes later, after Jesus. So yes, this wasn’t a quiet inner nudge. This was God speaking.

God starts by telling Abram, “Do not be afraid. I am your shield, your very great reward.”

Let’s pause there. That’s an enormous statement. God is essentially saying, “You’re safe. I’ve got you. And I myself am your reward.” If that were me, I’d probably still be trying to pick my jaw up off the floor.

But Abram’s response isn’t worship or awe or falling facedown in gratitude.

It’s a “but.”

“But, Sovereign Lord… what can you give me since I remain childless?”

Excuse me, sir?

God has just told him there is nothing to fear and that He will personally be his reward. And Abram responds by explaining what God hasn’t done yet.

Then, just to make sure his point is clear, Abram adds an “and” in the next verse. He very clearly explains to God that He has not given him what he actually wants, which is an heir.

When I first really sat with this passage, it kind of blew my mind. I picture an audible voice from heaven, unmistakably God, making these massive promises. I’m fairly confident I would not survive the shock and awe, let alone have the nerve to follow it up with, “But here’s the thing…”

And yet, God doesn’t rebuke him. He doesn’t shut him down. He doesn’t say, “How dare you.”

Instead, God responds with patience and grace. He takes Abram outside and shows him the stars. He paints a picture of the future Abram cannot yet see. He reassures him of what is coming.

If that doesn’t reveal the character of God, I don’t know what does. His patience. His kindness. His willingness to meet His child right where he is, even when that place includes doubt, frustration, and unmet longing.

As I reflected on this, I felt God gently say to my heart, “My girl, how much more do I want to give you now that you have Jesus living in you. All you have to do is ask.”

Now, am I saying we should approach God with entitlement or ingratitude, the way Abram seems to here? No. Not at all.

What I am saying is this: spending time in God’s Word made me realize how much we miss out on. Not because God is unwilling, but because we often don’t believe. And because we don’t ask.

Abram dared to bring his deepest desire to God, even awkwardly, even imperfectly. And God met him there.

Maybe there’s something in that for us too.

Genesis 15:1-5 (ESV):

1. After these things the word of the Lord came to Abram in a 
   vision: “Fear not, Abram, I am your shield; your reward shall be 
   very great.”
2. But Abram said, “O Lord God, what will you give me, for I continue childless, and the heir of my house is Eliezer of Damascus?”
3. And Abram said, “Behold, you have given me no offspring, and a member of my household will be my heir.”
4. And behold, the word of the Lord came to him: “This man shall 
   not be your heir; your very own son shall be your heir.”
5. And he brought him outside and said, “Look toward heaven, and number the stars, if you are able to number them.” Then he said 
   to him, “So shall your offspring be.”

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