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  • My Big Fat USCIS Adventure

    The Journey Begins (With Tea and Tar)

    So yesterday I had what can only be described as The Great American Immigration Quest: Biometrics Edition — a tale of sweat, smoothies, soggy shoes, and divine delays.

    It all started when I got the golden ticket—a letter from USCIS summoning me for biometrics, which sounds way fancier than it is (translation: fingerprints and a mugshot). I was still VERY excited. One step closer to that magical green card!

    Google Maps estimated it would take 2 hours and 15 minutes from Ocala to Jacksonville, so like the responsible adult I occasionally pretend to be, I left at 10am for my 1pm appointment. Plenty of time, I thought. Oh sweet, naïve, me.

    For some reason, my GPS decided i95 was too mainstream, and rerouted me through the scenic route—which I now call the National Geographic Tour of Northern Florida. Forests, bridges, lakes, and… roadworks. Of course.

    At one stop, I got to watch a surprisingly attractive, tiny-but-mighty road worker lady absolutely dominate the tar-shoveling game. I swear she couldn’t have weighed more than 45 kilograms soaking wet, but there she was, shoveling like a gladiator while the big dudes stood around “supervising.” I was sipping tea from my thermos, living my best life and thinking, “you go, girlfriend!”.

    Where GPS’ go to die and the quickest Biometrics in the West

    Then I hit Jacksonville.

    Let me tell you something—Jacksonville is not for the faint of heart or the directionally challenged. It’s all highways stacked on top of highways like some sort of spaghetti bowl of doom. I went from peaceful tea sipper to sweaty-palmed GPS worshipper in 30 seconds flat. Somehow, I made it to the USCIS office with 30 minutes to spare. Victory?

    Not quite.

    There was a serious-looking officer guarding the door like he was auditioning for FBI: The Musical. And there I was, bladder bursting from that huge thermos of tea and stomach growling from that one sad slice of toast I had hours ago. So I detoured to Smoothie King (blessed be thy overpriced blends), grabbed my Chocolate Protein Power smoothie, used their glorious restroom, and sped back to USCIS—brain freeze and all.

    And then as I get back… the sky opened up. Full monsoon. I looked like a poodle in a power washer. I clutched my documents, shoved the smoothie into my bag, and bolted toward the door like I was storming Normandy. The scary officer greeted me with a glare that could curdle milk and said the unthinkable:

    “Ma’am, you’ll have to throw away your smoothie.”

    NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    Goodbye $8 smoothie and any trace of dignity. Inside, I was double-scanned because apparently necklaces are a national threat. Finally, I made it to biometrics where a lovely lady took my fingerprints and captured what I can only describe as my “wet rat glamour shot.” Whole process: 10 minutes.

    First world efficiency, baby!

    When Your Car Locks You Out… and God Locks You In (For a Reason)

    Feeling slightly defeated but proud, I walked back to my car… and reached for my keys…

    Oh no.

    Yep. In my sprint to avoid the downpour, I’d locked my keys in the car. Because I drive an ancient Chevy Spark that lets you do that sort of thing. #ClassicMe

    I called my sweet husband Stevie, who said he’d drive 3.5 hours with the spare. Lovely gesture, but I was sitting outside a federal building, phone dying, with the nearest coffee shop across a 4-lane highway of doom. I started pacing like a spy who missed the drop-off.

    Then, miracle! Stevie remembered our car insurance includes roadside assistance. 🕊️ A lovely man showed up 45 minutes later and opened my car in three seconds flat like it was child’s play. I cheered. He did not. But I cheered anyway.

    So back to Smoothie King I went—justice for Smoothie #1!—got a new drink, and began the 2.5-hour drive home. This time, the GPS took me on i95… just in time for it to announce a major accident ahead.

    And then… it hit me.

    Maybe—just maybe—that whole ridiculous adventure, the rain sprint, the locked car, the delay… it was heaven’s way of keeping me safe. As I approached what was a massive, multi-vehicle wreck involving a truck pileup, I realized…

    If I hadn’t been delayed, I might’ve been in it!!

    Almost Out of Gas… and Definitely Out of Dignity

    So there I was—post-biometric, post-drenched, post-smoothie-mourning—finally settled back in my car, ready to head home and emotionally process the day’s drama with some light sobbing and worship music.

    But nope. Not yet.

    Because as I’m pulling out of Jacksonville, I glance down and there it is—my fuel light blinking like a toddler in a tantrum. I had completely forgotten to refuel in all the biometric excitement. No problem, I think, I’ll just take the next exit and hit up the BP station like a responsible adult.

    Except… just as I’m about to turn left to BP, I spot the golden arches of road trip salvation: Buc-ee’s. I mean, it’s Buc-ee’s. Bathrooms like palaces. Jerky in 87 flavors. Gas pumps until kingdom come. Obviously, I decide to turn right instead.

    Except…

    That “right” was actually the onramp back onto the i95.

    Panic mode engaged.

    I yank the wheel in a desperate attempt to correct my course, nearly colliding head-on with a poor, unsuspecting traveler just trying to enter the highway in peace. I execute the world’s most dramatic wheel spin onto a patch of grass (Fast & Furious: Immigrant Edition), and realize with horror that there’s no way back—I’m now officially back on the highway with nothing but prayer and fumes in the tank.

    Cue me whispering, “Please Jesus, not the roadside assistance twice in one day. My dignity can’t take it.”

    Thankfully, hallelujah for America, where you can find a gas station every six feet. I coasted into a station, probably on angel wings, and filled up, swearing I’d never ignore my fuel light again (a promise I will definitely break).

    Rain-Soaked but Rescued: Publix, Peace, and Peanut Butter

    One final task before heading home: get peanut butter. Yes, after a day of governmental bureaucracy, accidental fast-lane stunts, and smoothie sacrifices, all I wanted was to cradle a jar of crunchy, comforting peanut butter.

    I walked into the grocery store like I was on a mission from God… and came out with peanut butter. And also a loaf of bread, some bananas, a candle I didn’t need, and possibly a potted plant. Because healing is a process.

    And just as I reached the door… BOOM. Another sky-dumping cloud burst. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

    There I stood, in the entrance of Publix, holding my peanut butter and my pride, dripping yet again.

    But here’s the thing (serious voice now 🎙️): as much as it felt like the enemy of my soul was doing everything in their power to steal my peace, my joy… maybe even my life—they didn’t win.

    I had a great adventure.

    I saw the hand of God in the delays.

    I was protected from disaster.

    And I still got my peanut butter. 🥜

    Moral of the story?

    Sometimes what feels like a delay is actually a divine detour.
    Even in the chaos, God is weaving protection, provision, and maybe even a little humor.

  • A Woman After God’s Own Heart

    I’ve been trying—for what feels like the hundredth time—to follow a Bible reading plan that takes you through the entire Bible in a year. I’ve started this project before, full of enthusiasm and good intentions, only to lose steam a few weeks or months in. I would fall behind a few days, feel guilty, and then quietly give up when the distance between me and the plan felt too wide to close.

    But this year has felt different.

    I’ve given myself grace for the days I fall behind and have remained determined to keep going. I’ve stopped reading just to check a box and started reading to listen. Each day I ask, “God, what do You want me to see in this?” And what I’ve found is that when I lean in—even when I’m tired or distracted—He speaks.

    Lately, He’s been speaking through the story of David.

    For most of my life, I saw David as one of the Bible’s heroes. The boy who slayed Goliath. The worshipper. The king. The man after God’s own heart. I’d heard about his affair with Bathsheba, and I assumed that was his one dark moment—his single failure.

    But as I read through 1 and 2 Samuel, I was stunned.

    Not only did David commit adultery, but even after being forgiven and restored, he went on to disobey God repeatedly. He made choices that led to pain, destruction, and death. And yet—God still loved him. God still used him. God still called him His own.

    David’s Repeated Disobedience

    InfractionScripture ReferenceWhat Happened
    Polygamy2 Samuel 5:13David took many wives and concubines—against God’s design for marriage.
    Adultery with Bathsheba2 Samuel 11David saw a woman bathing, took her, and got her pregnant—knowing she was another man’s wife.
    Murder of Uriah2 Samuel 11To cover up the pregnancy, he arranged for Bathsheba’s husband to be killed in battle.
    Parental Negligence2 Samuel 13–18He failed to confront his son Amnon for raping Tamar, leading to Absalom’s revenge and rebellion.
    A Prideful Census2 Samuel 24David ordered a military census in pride and self-reliance. God responded with a deadly plague.
    Trusting in Enemies1 Samuel 27Out of fear, he sought safety with the Philistines and even offered to fight for them.

    As I read these stories—these painful, messy, complicated accounts—I heard the Lord whisper something that shifted everything in my spirit—it was as if a veil had been lifted, and suddenly I saw His heart more clearly.

    “I knew everything David would do—and I still chose him. I still loved him. I still delighted in him.”

    And in that moment, I felt His presence wash over me.
    “I knew everything you would do,” He said, “and I still chose you. I loved you then and I love you now. I took delight in you then, and I delight in you now. You are a woman after My own heart.”

    I’ve carried shame for years—for decisions I made, for paths I took, for times I knew better and still chose wrong. But God isn’t looking for perfection. He’s looking for a heart that turns back to Him, again and again. David was deeply flawed—but he was also deeply surrendered. He repented. He worshipped. He trusted. And God, in His mercy, stayed close.

    If you’ve ever found the Bible boring or irrelevant, maybe it’s because you’ve been skimming the surface. But underneath the words is the heartbeat of a God who sees you fully, loves you deeply, and delights in speaking to you through every page.

    You won’t just find history in these stories—you’ll find hope.

    And perhaps, like me, you’ll begin to believe that you too…
    are someone after God’s own heart.

  • My Accidental Escape from a Marriage Proposal – Episode 3

    The Dinner Before the Disaster

    Duncan had gotten dressed and said he’d meet me down at the hotel’s fancy restaurant. Now, ordinarily, I’d be thrilled—because I love food. Especially good food. But this time? I took my sweet time getting ready. Not because I wanted to impress Duncan, but because I was still fuming over the “oops, only one suite left” situation.

    I wasn’t exactly leaping at the chance to head downstairs. Something in my gut told me this evening was going to be weird—and not the fun, spontaneous kind of weird. More like the “I’m about to be emotionally ambushed” kind. If I could’ve buried my head in the minibar like an ostrich and pretended none of this was happening, I would’ve.

    But instead, I took my time getting dressed—part stalling tactic, part emotional armor. I wasn’t going to waltz in all sunshine and sparkles like I hadn’t just been wedged into a suite-sharing situation I never signed up for. No way. I decided to go with a look I like to call disengaged but dazzling. Think: hostage chic, but with lip gloss.

    By the time I floated into the restaurant, I was composed—at least on the outside. On the inside? Still rage-simmering with a hint of “how-do-I-escape-this-trip-with-my-sanity?”

    We had just ordered our first course when I decided—against all better judgment—to have a glass of wine. Maybe it would help smooth over my mood. Maybe it would just help me sit through another night of Duncan talking about wood grain finishes.

    But then—just as I took that first hesitant sip—he leaned in.

    “I’ve really loved our time together,” he said, eyes soft and serious.
    “I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you since you worked for me.
    This trip… was so I could finally tell you.
    I want to marry you.”

    Cue internal collapse.
    My heart froze. My jaw didn’t drop (I have some dignity), but my stomach absolutely did a backflip.

    Why was it always the men I had zero interest in who insisted on loving me with Olympic-level intensity?

    Then—as if this couldn’t get worse—he pulled out a little black velvet box.

    Oh, sweet mercy.

    He didn’t even get down on one knee. Just handed it over. Like a contract. Or an unsolicited invoice for emotional damage.

    Inside? A diamond. A very large, very sparkly, very innocent-looking diamond.
    Too bad it was giving me a full-body anxiety rash.

    Panic!

    I was speechless. Not in the happy, teary-eyed, “oh my word this is the best day of my life” kind of way. More like the stunned, wide-eyed, “I might faint into this bread roll” kind of way. And I could only pray Duncan wasn’t mistaking my silence for the romantic kind of overwhelmed.

    His lips were still moving—definitely still talking. Something about love… forever… destiny, maybe? I honestly couldn’t tell. All I could focus on was the twinkling diamond glaring at me from inside its velvet cell like a sparkly little accomplice to this crime of confusion.

    Then came the question:
    “Are you going to say something?”

    Oh, Duncan. I wish I had.

    To this day, I have no memory of my actual response. I think it was something weak and non-committal like, “Wow… I’m so honored you feel this way.” Which, let’s be real, is the international code for: “Absolutely not, but I’m too polite to say it yet.”

    That’s when full-blown panic took over. I began listing every possible reason why I would make a terrible wife. Surely, surely, logic would win the day.

    I was too emotionally unavailable.
    I didn’t know what I wanted in life.
    I still had commitment issues… with gym memberships, let alone marriage.

    But Duncan? Unfazed.

    He had a counter for every excuse I gave—calm, confident, relentless. It suddenly made perfect sense why he was such a successful lawyer. I was basically presenting Exhibit A for “This Is Not Going to Happen,” and he was expertly cross-examining it into oblivion.

    Meanwhile, I was spiraling.

    How on earth was I going to turn this down without nuking my future business prospects… and possibly a shot at international travel and financial salvation?

    Then the food arrived.

    But while Duncan tucked in with the joy of a man who’d just proposed and assumed it went well, I could barely chew. Every bite felt like it came with a side of anxiety. I washed it all down with more wine—hoping it might give me either the courage to be honest, or a nap I wouldn’t wake up from until we were back in Durban.

    He, of course, misread my wine consumption as a celebration.
    Me? I was mourning my exit strategy.

    Couch Couture and Midnight Madness

    Eventually, sometime between the cheesecake and my third glass of liquid denial, Duncan asked the inevitable:
    “So… do you have an answer?”

    Panic.
    I stalled. “I’ll need some time to think about it,” I said, in the most non-committal, conflict-avoiding tone I could manage.

    A flicker of disappointment passed over his face—followed, interestingly, by what looked like relief. I hadn’t said yes (praise be), but I hadn’t said no either. Just… a diplomatic holding pattern. He could still hope, and I could still breathe.

    But then came the real challenge: returning to the suite.

    It was still too early to turn in, but Duncan announced cheerfully that he was calling it a night.
    “Oh, okay! Good night!” I chirped—maybe just a bit too brightly—as I made a dramatic beeline for the miniature couch like it was a perfectly reasonable sleeping arrangement and not a glorified footstool.

    Now, let’s remember—this was the 1990s in South Africa. We didn’t have cable or streaming or anything remotely entertaining past 10 p.m. What we did have was SABC, our one sad little channel. On Saturday nights, the movie would end promptly at 10, followed by a string of solemn religious programming (think: pipe organs and softly spoken sermons), and then—if you were still awake—the grand finale: a test pattern and the national anthem. That was it. Entertainment closed for the night like a tuck shop on a public holiday.

    Midnight hit.
    Exhaustion hit harder.

    And that couch? It had all the comfort of a shoebox lined with regret.

    I weighed my options. Cling to this glorified bench and wake up with spinal trauma? Or admit defeat and slide silently into the enormous king-sized bed?

    I chose survival.

    So, I layered every item of clothing in my suitcase like a human onion, crept across the room, and eased into the very far edge of the mattress—as in, one accidental roll and I’d be on the floor. Mission: do not touch Duncan.

    I must’ve passed out instantly.

    Because the next thing I knew, I was under attack.

    Snore Wars : The Final Deterrent

    I jolted awake to find Duncan looming over me, wielding a pillow like a weapon and hissing:
    “Carol! Will you STOP SNORING?!”

    Apparently, the allergies I’d been ignoring all day had blossomed into a full-blown, symphonic, soul-shaking snore-fest.
    Duncan was livid.

    Whether it was the noise, or the shock of seeing me lying there—bundled like a human burrito in every item of clothing I owned—it clearly spelled out what I hadn’t managed to say over dinner: this was never going to be a love story.

    He stormed off without a word, stomped onto the balcony, lit a cigarette, and glared at the horizon like it had personally offended him. Bare-chested. Sleep shorts. Smouldering with betrayal.

    I did feel bad.
    Sort of.
    But mostly? Immensely relieved.
    I no longer needed a carefully crafted “it’s not you, it’s me” monologue. My nasal passages had done the heavy lifting. My snoring had spoken the unspoken.

    Needless to say, the pot of gold I thought Duncan represented turned out to be an old rusted tin can with holes in the bottom.

    The drive home? Painfully silent. So silent, you could hear my regret shifting awkwardly in the back seat.

    What was I supposed to say?
    “Sorry my nasal passages betrayed you”?

    And the more the kilometres rolled by, the more irritated I became.
    Had this whole “business venture” just been a romantic ruse? A bait-and-switch wrapped in handcrafted wooden bowls?

    I hadn’t seen his kindness as anything but… well, kindness. And sure, maybe I’d laughed at his jokes or smiled politely over dinner—but that’s not a binding contract. It’s basic social grace.

    By the time we pulled up to my car in Umkomaas, I couldn’t decide if I felt more guilty for not feeling guilty, or just mad that the whole awkward circus had even happened.

    Either way, the fairy tale was over.
    Not with a glass slipper, but with a snort and a slam of a car door.

    On Reflection….

    I never heard from Duncan again.

    And honestly, I didn’t expect to. He was a good man—kind, respectful, and genuine—and while I did miss him, I couldn’t bring myself to reach out. I didn’t want to give him false hope or rub salt into what was likely still a pretty raw wound.

    The whole episode didn’t leave me feeling triumphant. Quite the opposite, actually. It chipped away at my already-fragile self-esteem. I’d hurt someone who didn’t deserve it—however unintentionally—and that truth stuck with me. What stung even more was the uncomfortable realization that I had been this close to a better future. Stability. Travel. A solid, kind-hearted man. But I let it all go… because, if I’m being brutally honest, he didn’t look like Brad Pitt. Turns out, I was that shallow.

    The whole Duncan chapter became one of those cringe-worthy “what was I thinking” moments I often take to God in prayer. Thankfully, in His endless grace, He has led me into a spacious place—a life where He truly has turned all things for good (Romans 8:28). The shame, the regret, the bad choices? He’s repurposed it all.

    And while I still have a suitcase full of questionable decisions and terrifying detours to share, I tell these stories not to glamorize the mess—but to hopefully make you laugh, and more importantly, to warn younger girls: Get healed. Get whole. Don’t waste years wandering down dead-end roads like I did.

  • My Accidental Escape from a Marriage Proposal – Episode 2

    Just when I thought the only thing in my future was toast and tears in my pyjamas, Duncan called with a business proposition.

    Not the pyramid scheme kind, thankfully. No, Duncan had a vision—to export handcrafted wooden bowls made by women artisans in the Transkei. These weren’t just bowls; they were intracately carved by hand from the beautiful Wild Olive Tree, and Duncan believed they’d be a hit in European homeware boutiques. It wasn’t a terrible idea. In fact, it was the first thing that had given me a flicker of hope since I crash-landed back in Durban with heartbreak, no job, and a champagne lifestyle I could no longer afford on a ginger ale budget.

    It wasn’t just the potential income that drew me in—it was the chance to travel, to start something new. Things were finally looking up.

    The Business Trip Proposal

    Duncan suggested we take a weekend trip to the Transkei to scout for suppliers and see the business potential firsthand. I was all in—I’d never been to the Transkei, and any excuse to leave town sounded like an adventure. He offered to pick me up en route, since I’d be in Umkomaas on Friday night. Technically, Umkomaas was wildly out of the way, but I wasn’t about to skip the party. One of my school friends lived there with her fiancé, and he had a tribe of handsome, single friends. None of them showed even a flicker of interest in me, but that wasn’t going to stop me from putting in the effort. “Perfect,” I said with breezy confidence. “I’ll be ready.”

    How Not to Arrive on a Business Trip

    To say I overdid it would be an understatement. I drank far too much, spent a good portion of the night making best friends with the toilet, and got maybe an hour of sleep—if we’re being generous. By the time Duncan pulled up the next morning, bright-eyed and full of road trip enthusiasm, I looked like a cautionary tale in a health textbook. I hadn’t eaten. I hadn’t showered. I hadn’t even brushed the disappointment off my soul.

    Duncan, bless him, was thrilled to see me. Beaming, chatty, completely unaware that I was one sip of water away from disaster. I told him—somewhat sheepishly—about my wild night. He was kind about it, even chuckled and said I could nap on the drive.

    Nap? Please. I blacked out like someone had tranquilized me. Mouth wide open, head tilted back, full-on drool situation. By the time I resurfaced from unconsciousness, we were pulling into our first hotel—The Royal Swazi. A very fancy, very majestic place that I could not have cared less about because all I could think was: Is lunch still being served? I was dizzy, dehydrated, and still had last night’s mascara flaking down my face like a dusty shame trail. I probably looked like I’d been dragged through a nightclub and then rolled into a bush. But hey—business trip, right?

    Trinkets, Tiredness & the Toasted Agenda🥴

    Once I’d inhaled something resembling lunch and had a moment to resuscitate my soul, Duncan and I set out on our grand mission: to find authentic, handcrafted bowls made by the famed Transkei women carvers.

    What we found instead?
    A whole lot of wooden rhinos, giraffes, and generic tourist trinkets. Not a bowl—or woman artisan—in sight. It was like going on a hunt for buried treasure and coming up with themed fridge magnets.

    Still clinging to the hope that tomorrow would be more fruitful, we returned to the hotel. That evening, Duncan suggested we meet at the bar for a drink. I physically recoiled. After the previous night’s wine-fueled meltdown, the thought of alcohol made my internal organs shudder. I ordered soda water. He looked a little disappointed, but frankly, he wasn’t someone I needed to dazzle. He was my former boss—not my Tinder match—and ideally, my soon-to-be business partner who’d lead me to financial freedom (and maybe a European buying trip or two).

    I managed to endure one polite drink and dinner, though I can’t recall much of the conversation. Duncan was in full storytelling mode, but exhaustion was steamrolling me. My brain had officially checked out. I excused myself, went straight to my room, and collapsed.

    I slept like the dead. No dreams. No stirring. Just blackout recovery mode. So deeply asleep, in fact, that I completely missed our very ambitious 8 a.m. breakfast meeting. Duncan had to call my room. I shot out of bed like I’d been electrocuted, did a 90-second beauty triage in the mirror, and flew down to breakfast—apologizing so profusely that I almost offered to buy the hotel a new clock.

    Bowls, Business…and One Bed?

    After we checked out of the rather regal Royal Swazi, Duncan and I hit the road for our next stop—a hotel on the opposite end of Swaziland. We drove for hours, still scanning the roadside for those elusive bowl artisans, but there was a noticeable shift. Duncan no longer seemed too bothered by the lack of handmade goods. In fact, he looked… relaxed. Almost like the bowls were suddenly optional.

    I tried steering the conversation back to business—suppliers, logistics, pricing strategy—and to my relief, he responded with some solid ideas. That little entrepreneurial spark reignited. Maybe this trip wasn’t a complete disaster. Maybe I was on the verge of turning my financial ship around after all.

    Four hours (and zero bowls) later, we arrived at the next hotel.

    Then came the twist.

    At check-in, the receptionist gave us that smile. You know the one: “I’m about to ruin your day, but I’m going to do it politely.”

    “I’m so sorry… we’re overbooked. We only have one room available—but it is a suite.”

    My internal alarm bells started clanging. I turned to Duncan with a hopeful, please-tell-me-this-isn’t-happening expression.
    He grinned like a kid on Christmas morning. “Oh, you don’t mind, do you?”

    Reader—I minded. I REALLY minded.

    Still, my ever-optimistic brain tried to soothe me. It’s a suite, I reasoned. There will be a couch. You’ll sleep on the couch. No problem.
    Except… the couch was one of those decorative ones. You know the kind—designed to look expensive, not to be used. It was about the length of a yoga mat and looked like it would buckle under the weight of a handbag.

    Oh well, I told myself. I’ll make it work. This is just a blip on the business journey.

    We dropped our bags and Duncan suggested heading to the pool for a drink. Finally—something safe. No surprises. No intimacy. Just water, maybe food, and hopefully a moment to recalibrate. The afternoon passed uneventfully, with more business talk and less bowl talk. I let myself get hopeful again.

    Then came dinner.
    And that’s when the wheels really started to fall off.

    Coming up next in the final episode: A proposal, a panic, and my desperate attempt to keep a straight face while my internal monologue screamed. 🙃

  • My Accidental Escape from a Marriage Proposal – Episode 1

    Champagne Problems and Secretarial Woes

    When your “plan” is to find a husband with a plan…

    Let’s start with the basics:
    After four years of being in a relationship with a man who made it crystal clear he’d never marry me—like, bold underline, all-caps, skywritten by a plane clear—I finally walked away. Heartbroken and with nowhere else to go, I dragged my tail back to Durban and back into my parents’ house. They never approved of him (they were right, of course), and they were also very religious… and I had spent the last few years living like someone actively trying to dodge both God and good decisions.

    To top it off, I’d quit my job that morning—sent a dramatic message to the attorneys saying I’d never be back. So there I was: unemployed, emotionally wrecked, and back under the roof of people who would’ve fainted if they knew even half of what I’d been up to in Joburg.

    Let’s just say returning home was humbling. Champagne lifestyle? Please. Durban didn’t even offer a bubbly on a budget version of the life I’d been living.

    I was broke. I was bitter. And I was working for my mother.

    Not exactly the opening line of a bestselling autobiography, but we’re being honest here.

    At this point in my life, my career goals could best be summed up as:
    “Marry someone with ambition so I don’t have to develop any.”

    it’s not that I was lazy—I just didn’t know what to do with myself.
    Well, besides chasing men with red flags and stabbing myself in the eye every morning trying to nail that darned winged eyeliner.
    (And still walking out the door looking like a raccoon with commitment issues.)

    By day, I was a secretary in my mom’s office, which was every bit as soul-sucking as it sounds.
    By night, I was on a romantic scavenger hunt for someone—anyone—to rescue me from myself.

    Spoiler: that person never showed up.
    (Unless you count that one guy who thought a packet of biltong was a suitable birthday gift. I do not.)

    My salary? Laughable.
    My expenses? Mostly overpriced cocktails and late night dinners with my girlfriends.
    Rent wasn’t a concern—I lived at home—but somehow, I was still financially gasping for air every month.

    You’d think partying four nights a week on a shoestring budget would slow me down, but oh no.
    I just became really, really good at eating crackers for dinner.

    Then came The Call.

    Dramatic pause. Cue hopeful violin music.

    Out of nowhere, I got a phone call from Duncan—an attorney I used to work for at a fancy law firm back in my more “respectable” days (read: before fleeing the city like a dumped contestant on The Bachelor).

    Duncan was a quiet, serious man, older than me, and very professional…and very short.
    Think legal version of a little Mr. Rogers – minus the cardigans…and the full head of hair.
    I’d always appreciated how kind he was, especially the night we both had to stay at work until 2 a.m. helping a millionaire matriarch rewrite her will out of pure spite.
    (She was leaving nothing to her family and everything to her cats. You think I’m kidding.)

    When I ghosted that job post-breakup meltdown, Duncan was the only one who called to say goodbye.
    No guilt. No passive aggression. Just kindness.

    So when he rang again—months later—I was genuinely happy to hear from him.

    We chatted. Caught up. Laughed a little.
    He said the firm missed me. I said something self-deprecating and charming, probably while sitting in my pajamas at 2 p.m. eating toast.

    Then the calls kept coming.
    Once a week.
    Then every other day.

    And then?

    Duncan had a business idea.

    Ladies and gentlemen, this is where our story really begins.

    🛎️ Coming Next: Episode 2: The Wooden Bowl Hustle and Hope in a Suitcase

    International dreams, backseat naps, and the hangover that nearly ruined everything.

    Subscribe so you don’t miss a moment of this wild tale, or drop a comment below:
    💬 Ever tried to find meaning at the bottom of a wine glass? Same.
    Let’s swap notes.

    💬 Note from the Author

    I want to pause and say—this isn’t a story I share with pride. Especially not the parts about my wild lifestyle or the choices that led me down a path I now see so clearly for what it was: a slow unraveling. I was chasing validation, fun, escape… but mostly, I was running—from God, from truth, and from myself.

    I tell this story not just to entertain (though yes, parts are laugh-out-loud ridiculous), but to offer a quiet warning wrapped in real-life mess. If you’re reading this and something inside you whispers, ‘this feels familiar‘, please know you’re not alone. You don’t have to figure it all out by yourself.

    If any of this hit close to home and you need someone to talk to—someone who’s walked that road and turned around—I’m here. I’d be honored to walk alongside you.

    See you in Episode 2!!

  • Seven Seconds

    The Last Seven Seconds: What My Stepdaughter’s Death Taught Me About Grace

    Some stories stay locked inside us for a long time—because they’re heavy, because they hurt, or because we’re not sure how to tell them. This is one of those stories. Two days ago, we marked the anniversary of Lauren’s passing—my stepdaughter, our Lolly-Polly, gone far too soon. Her dad and I aren’t together anymore, but this story still burns inside me. Not just because of the loss, but because of what God revealed to me through it. If you’re holding on for someone you love, if you’re praying through heartbreak, or wondering if grace could possibly reach far enough—this is for you.

    When We First Met

    I met Lauren when she was twelve. Some mutual friends were trying to set her dad and me up on a blind date—but what they failed to mention was that I’d also be babysitting. I didn’t know what I was signing up for, and honestly, I was irritated. Babysitting wasn’t in the plan. But then I saw her dad—and my first thought was basically badda-bing, I’ll babysit your kid every weekend if that’s what it takes.

    Lauren was sweet from the start. We spent the day sitting by the river, talking, laughing, watching the paddlers go by. She was waiting to catch a glimpse of her dad—heroically bringing up the rear of the Dusi Canoe Marathon, making sure no one was left behind. That was how it all began.

    Trying to Hold it Together

    To cut a long story short, her dad and I were married eight months later—but not without some painful truths coming to light first.

    Lauren’s life hadn’t been easy. Her parents had divorced before she was even two, and her mom had moved to Port Elizabeth—far from her dad in Durban. The distance made visits rare, and the environment she was raised in wasn’t stable. Boundaries were loose, supervision was inconsistent, and Lauren ended up exposed to things no little girl should be.

    I remember one of our early dates—a few days after our meeting at the Dusi—he pulled me aside to talk where she couldn’t hear. He’d found cigarettes in her bag. She was barely twelve. He was shaken—not just by what he’d found, but by the lie she told when he confronted her. This was probably their first real conflict. Up until then, they had a close, affectionate bond, even though they only saw each other once or twice a year. But now, that trust was fractured. I could see how much it hurt him—like something precious was slipping through his fingers.

    Still, eight months later, she stood beside her dad at our wedding. No best man—just his beautiful daughter. She’d come up for the ceremony, and as far as he could tell, she wasn’t smoking anymore.
    But I knew she’d just gotten better at hiding it.

    The Breaking Point

    After the wedding, her dad and I were offered a career opportunity abroad. We took it, packed up our lives, and left—returning 18 months later. Just days after we got back, the call came.

    It was Lauren’s mom. Lauren had just turned 14—and had been arrested for marijuana possession.

    Her mom didn’t sugarcoat it. She told my husband, “You need to take her. I’ve lost control.”

    He was crushed. First cigarettes, now weed. It felt like every time he looked away, something in Lauren’s world slipped further out of reach. But there was no hesitation. We made arrangements and drove the long, winding roads through the Eastern Cape to go get her.

    I was terrified. I had just suffered a miscarriage, and now I was about to bring a troubled teenager into my home—a teenager I barely knew. Everything in me felt unsteady.

    When we reached Lauren, it was clear she didn’t want to come. She was leaving behind her friends, her history, her chaos—everything she knew—for a father she barely saw and a stepmother who was basically a stranger. She cried for 17 straight hours on the drive back.

    And honestly, so did I. Just not out loud.

    A House on Fire

    The next 11 months with Lauren were some of the most turbulent we’d ever lived through.

    We enrolled her in a new school, hoping for a fresh start. But she quickly found the wrong crowd—like it was magnetic. It didn’t take long before the clashes with her dad started. He was trying to introduce structure, lay down rules, enforce consequences. But for Lauren, boundaries were foreign. Accountability wasn’t something she’d ever been held to.

    Their relationship, already fragile, turned into a battleground. He was desperate to guide her. She pushed back harder every time. I was caught in the middle—watching them crash into each other over and over again.

    There were some sweet moments, brief and tender, but mostly it felt like we were constantly putting out fires—at school, with her friends, and inside our own home. It was relentless.

    The Final Straw

    One constant in our lives was church. My husband and I went faithfully, and amazingly, Lauren never pushed back on coming with us. I never saw her engage much—no signs that she was listening or opening up—but she came. And in those days, that was enough.

    During her stay with us, I fell pregnant. When her baby sister was born, it felt like a turning point. A fresh start. A reason for hope. For a moment, it seemed like the chaos might finally take a back seat.

    But it didn’t last.

    Lauren and her dad were soon at each other’s throats again. The smallest “no” from him would trigger tantrums and shouting matches. Then came the night she lied—said she was staying at school for the weekend (she was at a weekly boarding school), but instead, she and a friend snuck off and spent the weekend in an apartment with two unknown men and in all likelihood, more weed was involved.

    Her father went ballistic. She was grounded—seriously grounded.

    That’s when her mom started interfering. She called my husband and accused him of being a bad father. Told him he was too strict. Said he should let Lauren go out, go to parties, loosen up. She told him that Lauren had said she was so unhappy she was threatening to take her life.

    We knew it was a manipulation tactic—another weapon in the ongoing tug-of-war—but the damage was done. I could see what it was doing to him. He looked broken.

    Meanwhile, I was beyond exhausted. I had a baby who wouldn’t sleep, a household full of tension, and a teenager who brought drama with every step. That’s when I snapped.

    The Final Straw

    I couldn’t take it anymore.

    I picked up the phone and called Lauren’s mom. I told her plainly: she needed to support us if we were going to have any hope of helping Lauren. She needed to back our rules, not undermine them.

    She refused. She said my husband was just as bad a father as his own father had been to him. I was stunned. I tried to defend him, to explain how hard he was trying with a daughter already spinning out, but the more I said, the more aggressive she became—especially toward him.

    That was it. I’d had enough.

    I told her, “If you’re not prepared to support us, we’ll have no choice but to send Lauren back to you—since you clearly know what’s best for her.”

    And then I said the thing that sealed it:
    “I’m sending her back to you, because I would never be able to live with myself if something happened to her on my watch.”

    So that’s what we did.

    At the end of her Grade 9 year, we put Lauren on a plane—back to her beloved friends, her old life, her mother. We sent her back because we didn’t know what else to do.

    Seven Seconds

    Exactly six months later, we got the call.

    It was Lauren’s mother. Lauren had died in the early hours of that Sunday morning.

    There are no words to describe what it was like to watch my husband receive that news—that his Lolly-Polly was gone. I’ve never seen pain like that. Nothing prepares you for it. It was more horrific than I could ever put into words.

    The story we were told is that Lauren had been at a party. At some point, she took a scooter and gave a friend a lift home. On her way back, she ran into another friend on a scooter. He dared her to race him—back to the party.

    They took off.

    Further down the road, that friend looked into his rearview mirror and saw her scooter flipping, cartwheeling down the street.

    Lauren had slid across the road and hit her head on a telephone pole.

    The friend raced back, took off her helmet, and checked for a pulse.

    He felt one—for seven seconds.
    Then she was gone.

    Grief Vs Guilt

    Watching my husband walk through the grief of losing Lauren was excruciating. It wasn’t just sorrow—it was guilt, too. And I felt it right alongside him.

    I kept hearing my own voice—“I’m sending her back to you, because I would never be able to live with myself if something happened to her on my watch.”
    Something had happened. And even though we couldn’t have known, couldn’t have predicted, the weight of that last sentence clung to me.

    Lauren’s mother sent us the coroner’s report. Her blood alcohol level was off the charts. We’re not sure if they tested for drugs—but truthfully, I think her father didn’t even want to know. Some doors are just too painful to open.

    But the hardest thing I ever heard him say came one night, quietly, brokenly:

    “I don’t know if I’ll see her again.”

    He meant in eternity. In heaven.

    When Lauren lived with us, we were regular churchgoers, and most weekends she was at home with us. Even when things were tense between her and her dad, she never pushed back about coming to church. She never made excuses or begged to stay home. So every Sunday we were in church, she was there too. For Lauren, it was likely the first time she had ever stepped into a church—especially one like ours, which was spirit-filled and alive with worship. She might not have shown it outwardly, but she was in the room. She was in His presence. Week after week, seed after seed.

    But…we had never seen Lauren publicly surrender her life to Jesus. And given the choices she made, the lifestyle she fell into, it was hard—painfully hard—to reconcile her with the faith we held so tightly to. I didn’t know how to answer him. I didn’t know what to say.

    My heart broke for him. And for Lauren. And for the unknowable questions left hanging in the space between love and loss.

    The Vision

    That question burned in me for days. “I don’t know if I’ll see her again.”

    I had no answer. I was broken too.

    But then, on the morning of her funeral, I had what I can only describe as a vision.

    In the vision, I was standing on a road. Across from me was a telephone pole—the telephone pole. A streetlight on it cast a soft glow over the scene below.

    There, lying casually with her head propped up against the base of the pole, was Lauren. And sitting next to her, cross-legged on the ground, was a man. He had shoulder-length dark hair and wore loose cream-colored clothes—a shirt and pants. He was holding her hand, gently playing with her fingers like someone completely in love. There was no urgency, no fear—just an intimate, tender calm.

    Then, he looked up and saw me.

    He motioned for me to come closer.

    I walked behind him, looking down at Lauren. She didn’t see me—but I saw her face. Her eyes were locked on his with absolute adoration. Like she was seeing everything she had ever longed for, all in one face.

    Then I heard him speak.

    “OK, Lols,” he said gently, “I need to go now. But you have a choice. You can come with me, or you can stay here. It’s up to you.”

    But he didn’t even finish the sentence before she answered.

    “I want to come with you!” she said, her face lighting up like someone who’d just won the lottery. She was excited—overflowing with joy.

    And then I woke up.

    Hope Ignited

    I lay there in bed, completely overwhelmed—trying to make sense of what I had just seen. And then, in that quiet space, I heard the Holy Spirit whisper to me.

    “My darling girl, I was with Lauren in those seven seconds.
    There is no time with Me. I created the entire universe in seven days—but one day is like a thousand to Me.

    When I sat with Lauren, she recognized Me.
    Because I was with her all along.

    All those Sundays she sat next to you in church—I was there.
    All those prayers you whispered on her behalf—I heard them.
    And in those quiet, confused, lonely moments you never saw, she spoke to Me.

    She knew Me when I came for her.

    And yes—she will see her dad again.

    Because that’s what grace looks like.

    Just like the thief on the cross who used his last breath to believe—every one of My children gets that chance. And Lauren said yes.”

    I sat up immediately. The weight of what I’d just heard, what I’d been given—it cracked something open in me. I woke my husband and told him everything. The vision. The words. The choice. The grace.

    It meant the world to him. It gave him the strength to face what came next—her memorial, the grief, the empty space where Lauren used to be.

    It didn’t take away the pain. But it gave the pain meaning.

    And it gave us hope.

    Forever In Our Hearts

    Acts 16:31 says, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.” I believe that promise deeply. Yes, each person must ultimately make their own decision to follow Jesus—but our faith, our prayers, our lives can open the door for those moments we never get to see. Moments like the one Lauren had. So if you’re praying for someone you love—someone who seems far, or lost, or closed off—don’t stop. Your prayers matter. Your love matters. And so does the way you live. Get as close to Jesus as you can. Let His presence shine through you. Because when the moment comes—whether it’s in a church pew or the final seconds of a life—may they recognize Him… because they’ve seen Him in you.

  • The Heavenly Helpline Chronicles

    Oops I did it again… apparently I’m high-maintenance

    So, I’ve got one more angelic encounter story for the books. Honestly, I’m think my guardian angels demand hazard pay.

    There’ve been countless times when I’m pretty sure heavenly help was involved—moments where things worked out just a little too perfectly. But unlike those subtle nudges from above, this story (like the two before it) involves a full-on, no-doubt-about-it angelic intervention.

    At this point, I imagine the leader of the angelic task force sighing deeply, rubbing his temples, and sending out yet another urgent memo: “Right team, she’s wandered into trouble again. Get your wings in gear—this one’s going to need backup.”

    I definitely keep them on their toes. Or clouds. Or whatever angels stand on.

    Heaven’s 911

    This next story takes place deep in the rolling green hills of the KZN Midlands.

    I was in my early 30s at the time—still single, still hopeful (mostly), and heading off for a much-needed weekend getaway in the Drakensberg Mountains. My travel buddy? Jane. Also single, newly divorced, and very much in need of mountain air, strong coffee, and possibly divine intervention.

    Jane and I had met at church, though technically she was my mom’s hairdresser first—someone I’d adopted after a particularly traumatic home perm situation. We bonded over the usual: heartbreak, horror dates, and how most decent men seemed to have gone extinct somewhere around 1996. Our shared survival of the dating scene in our 30s created a friendship forged in fire… and flat hair days.

    For our Drakensberg adventure, we decided to take my car—a shiny (well, sometimes dusty) little Mazda 323 that was still fairly new at the time. What could possibly go wrong, right?

    Now, if you’ve read any of my previous stories, you’re probably starting to notice a pattern: me + car trip = angel alert at Heaven’s emergency desk. I’m convinced the minute I put a key in the ignition, there’s a siren going off in the heavenly control room.

    “She’s on the road again, folks. Buckle up and grab the holy toolkit—this one’s gonna need us.”

    And sure enough, this trip didn’t disappoint.

    Angels, Mist, and One Very Unimpressed Cow

    It was around 6 p.m. when we veered off the N3 and onto the road to Underberg—a stretch of road that locals will tell you is less of a road and more of a real-life game of Taxi Chicken. It’s narrow, it’s winding, and apparently it comes with a built-in “death wish” mode for minibus drivers doing 120 km/h into oncoming traffic.

    As we hit that infamous road, the mist rolled in—thick, cold, and clingy. Autumn in the Midlands does that. One minute you’re driving, the next you’re starring in your own horror movie with a visibility rating of “LOL, good luck”.

    Naturally, I eased off the accelerator, dropping to a cautious 70 km/h while Jane and I muttered hopeful prayers that no taxis would try anything dramatic. We had literally just said, “Let’s hope no one does a kamikaze overtake,” when things took a turn. (A literal one.)

    I rounded a bend—and there it was.

    Out of the swirling mist emerged a massive cow. Not walking. Not crossing. Just standing. Sideways. Right in the middle of our lane like it was contemplating life, chewing its cud, and couldn’t care less about Mazda-shaped problems.

    I did what every panicked driver instinctively does: I slammed the brakes. (Mistake number one.) Because, surprise, mist and tar make an excellent slip-and-slide combo.

    Everything slowed down like I was suddenly in The Matrix: Midlands Edition. I saw Jane brace for impact. I felt the car start to slide. And I watched in helpless, high-definition horror as we drifted straight into the bovine blockade.

    There was no dramatic swerve. No movie-style dodge. Just the cold, slippery truth of physics. We hit the cow.

    Straight on.

    And then it slowly slid up the hood of my car. In that surreal moment, I actually had a thought:

    “I’m about to have a whole lot of fillet on my lap.

    Moo-ving Toward Impact

    We’d heard the stories. Everyone in the Midlands knows someone—or knows someone who knows someone—who hit an animal with their car and didn’t walk away from it. So as the cow slid up my bonnet in cinematic slow motion, a wave of cold dread hit me harder than the actual impact.

    My brain was spiraling. Was this it? Was this the bizarre, mist-covered end of my life story? “She lived, she loved, and then she lost a high-speed showdown with a cow.” It was terrifying.

    Miraculously, the cow stopped sliding just short of my windscreen. But then—like a final dramatic move in a bovine ballet—its head and legs flopped over, leaving a massive dent in my roof and side panels. And then, as if following some invisible director’s cue, the cow slowly slid off the car and onto the road with an undignified thud.

    All I could see was the front of my once-proud little Mazda now crumpled like a used napkin. We sat there frozen. Time felt weird. It might’ve been five minutes… it was probably more like five seconds. Silence hung thick in the mist.

    Eventually, I snapped out of it just long enough to register that my car had come to a full stop—on the wrong side of the road.

    Facing oncoming traffic.

    Had anyone else been barreling around that corner like the taxis were earlier, we’d have had a full-speed head-on collision with a cow acting as a grotesque bumper.

    Then we heard it.

    Mooing. Loud. Pained. Drawn-out.

    The cow was very much alive—and not at all happy about its impromptu ride on my car. Jane, ever the tender-hearted vegetarian, immediately covered her ears and began whisper-praying on repeat:
    “Please, Lord, don’t let the cow die. Please don’t let the cow die. Please, please don’t let the cow die…”

    Meanwhile, I stared at the front of my poor, crumpled Mazda—hood folded, bumper gone, headlights blinking in confusion—and I’ll be honest: I wasn’t praying for the cow’s survival. In that moment, after all the damage it had done, I was lowkey hoping for slow internal bleeding. I know that’s terrible, but so was the dent in my roof.

    Then Heaven Sent a Land Cruiser

    Just as we were about to peel ourselves out of the car, headlights cut through the mist behind us. A large Land Cruiser pulled up—one of those big, rugged ones that look like they’ve driven through battlefields and Sunday braais alike. I assumed it was a group of local farmers. From what I could see, there were two guys in the front and three standing casually on the back like it was a khaki-clad chariot.

    They all jumped out in one fluid motion, like some kind of Midlands SWAT team.

    The driver and one of the guys came straight to my door, opened it without hesitation, and gently helped me out. Two more did the same for Jane. The last one jogged to the front of the car and crouched near the cow, giving it a once-over like a vet-slash-cow-whisperer.

    “Hey,” I heard him call out, “we might need the gun—she’s in bad shape.”

    Jane immediately gasped. Her vegetarian heart just about gave out. I, on the other hand, was still in shock and had just about resigned myself to my car being declared a total write-off—possibly by insurance, definitely by God.

    Once we’d convinced these rugged, handsome khaki angels that we were physically fine (emotionally? Debatable), one of them suggested we move the car out of the oncoming lane before we added more trauma to the evening.

    Two of the guys sprinted in opposite directions to flag down traffic, waving their arms and moving with military precision. Where I’d been stuck in slow motion just moments before, these guys were operating on fast-forward—like bushveld paramedics with a soft spot for damsels and livestock.

    I never actually saw a gun, but I was bracing for the worst. Then, just as the mist seemed to swallow the road around us, another shape emerged from the fog.

    A second cow.

    It walked calmly toward its injured friend, leaned in, and licked her ear.

    And just like that, the mooing stopped.

    As if on cue, the “injured” cow stood up—possibly out of embarrassment—and the two of them trotted off together into the field, vanishing like ghost cows into the mist. It was surreal. Jane, nearly in tears from relief, waved them off like long-lost friends, beaming with joy.
    “No one had to die tonight!” she exclaimed.

    Wheels, Winks, and One Last Moo-ving Moment

    Now that the cow had miraculously walked off and the Mazda was safely back on the correct side of the road, one of our rugged, khaki-clad angels turned to me and asked, “Do you want to try start your car?”

    Honestly, I didn’t think it had it in her. But I climbed in, turned the key… and she started first time. Like nothing had happened. As if we hadn’t just body-slammed half a ton of livestock.

    The driver of the Land Cruiser leaned in and said, “We’ll follow you the rest of the way to your resort, just to make sure you’re alright.”

    I blinked. “Are you sure? It’s still quite a way to go.”

    He just nodded, calm and confident. “We’ll follow.”

    And that was that.

    So off we went, creeping along at a respectful speed—slow enough to make sure the wheels didn’t fall off, fast enough not to look like a parade float. I was still high on adrenaline and disbelief. Jane, on the other hand, had shifted gears completely.

    “Why,” she hissed, “did I not hand one of them my business card? What was I thinking?!”

    I mean, fair question. How often do you get rescued by five handsome farmer-types in coordinated khaki?

    We reached the driveway of our resort, headlights bouncing gently off the gravel path, the mist still curling around us like a scene out of Outlander (minus the kilts, plus cows). As we pulled in, our guardian farmers gave a final hoot, a cheerful wave…

    …and then vanished back into the mist.

    Just like that.

    No names. No numbers. No Tinder follow-ups. Just a rescue, a goodbye, and a convoy of angels with bakkie boots.

    Gone—but never forgotten.

    Khaki-Clad Angels and the Road to Safety

    As I said at the start of this story, I’ve found myself in more situations than I can count where I know angels were working overtime behind the scenes. But on that misty Midlands road, I truly believe those khaki-clad heroes weren’t just good-hearted local farmers. They were honest-to-heaven angels—sent to pull us out of a potentially deadly encounter and see us safely to the end of our journey.

    Their timing. Their calm. Their quiet confidence. It all felt too perfectly placed to be coincidence.

    Sometimes, divine intervention shows up in a blinding light. Other times, it arrives in a Land Cruiser, wearing boots and a warm smile.

    “For He will order His angels to protect you wherever you go.”
    Psalm 91:11 (NLT)

  • Stranded, Scared, and Saved: My Night on the Concrete Highway

    One of my previous posts was about another angelic encounter that helped me in a dire situation. This is another account of what can only be described as angelic intervention.

    Stranded on the Highway With a Broken Fuel Gauge and a Barefoot Stranger

    Buying my first car felt like winning a mini lottery—okay, more like finding a crumpled R50 note in your jeans. It was secondhand, scratched, and smelled vaguely like old sandwiches, but it was mine. No more relying on my boyfriend for rides like I was his clingy little co-pilot. I could go where I wanted, when I wanted. Independence never looked so… slightly dented.

    The dream, however, came with one tiny, catastrophic flaw: the petrol gauge didn’t work.

    Since I couldn’t afford to fix it (or really fix anything), I adopted the “human calculator” approach. I tracked my mileage like my life depended on it—because, apparently, it did. I’d drive until I thought it was time to refuel, then top up just before things got dicey. It wasn’t ideal, but hey, it worked.

    Until it didn’t.


    Enter: A Wednesday Night Disaster

    It started with dinner at my boyfriend’s mom’s house—classic midweek visit that began fashionably late because he just had to hit the gym after work. I left around 10 p.m., cruising onto Joburg’s shiny new “concrete highway,” which, back in the 90s, was still novel and exciting. Fast lanes. Fewer robots. What could go wrong?

    As I headed uphill, the car gave a little judder. Then another. And then it started coughing like it had swallowed a spoon. My stomach dropped. I had forgotten to check the mileage.

    I was out of petrol.

    I somehow managed to steer into the emergency lane, pulling off like a Formula 1 driver who just realized they were out of fuel—and also had no pit crew. The engine died. The lights dimmed. And just like that, I was alone. On the side of one of Joburg’s most notorious roads. At night.

    This particular stretch had a reputation: carjackings, assaults, fake “help” lures that ended in horror. I knew the stories. Everyone did. My heart pounded so loudly I could hear it over the passing traffic.


    Fight, Flight, or… Wave Pathetically?

    I had three options, none good:

    1. Stay in the car and hope no one bothered me. (Unlikely.)
    2. Walk home. (Alone. In the dark. Nope.)
    3. Flag someone down and pray they weren’t a serial killer.

    I chose option 3, mostly because it didn’t involve movement. I got out and stood next to my car, arms folded like I was waiting for a taxi that would never come. Cars flew past, their headlights slicing through the night, not even slowing down. Twenty minutes went by. Nothing.

    Eventually, I raised my arms and started waving like one of those inflatable things outside a used car dealership. Another 15 minutes. Still nothing. My arms went limp. I was tired, scared, and dangerously close to tears.

    So I did what any desperate 90s Joburg girl might do in that moment: I whispered a prayer.

    “Please, God. Help me.”

    To be honest, I wasn’t even sure He was still taking my calls. But before I could spiral further into self-doubt, something happened.

    A white VW Jetta pulled up.


    The Barefoot Miracle

    A young man stepped out, dressed entirely in white—shorts and a shirt—and, bizarrely, no shoes. He looked calm, relaxed, like a guy who mistook a highway emergency for a beach stroll.

    “Are you alright? Can I help you?” he asked.

    “Yes! Please!” I blurted, explaining my fuel faux pas. Midway through my rambling confession, I realized I had no money on me. None. Not even a crumpled R2.

    He frowned a little. “Oh dear,” he said, like we’d just run out of biscuits at teatime. “I don’t have money on me either.”

    Then he casually walked to his car, dug into the ashtray, and emerged with a handful of copper coins. Maybe enough to buy half a loaf of bread—on special. “Let’s see what we can do,” he said. “I’ll take you to the petrol station.”

    I got into his car without hesitation. Normally, my self-preservation instincts would’ve kicked in. But in that moment, I felt totally safe. He was shorter than me, which for some strange reason reassured me. No weird vibes. No ulterior motives. Just… calm.


    Faith, Fumes, and a Jerry Can

    At the petrol station, the attendants scrambled to find a container small enough to justify the pocket change. Eventually, we filled up with whatever fuel we could afford and headed back.

    On the drive, we talked. Not small talk—real talk. He asked about my life. I found myself opening up to him, like he was an old friend I just hadn’t met yet.

    When we got back to my car, we poured in the fuel. I turned the key, hoping for a miracle.

    Nothing.

    The car didn’t even cough.

    I felt my whole body sag. But he wasn’t fazed.

    “Alright,” he said gently, “let me take you home. You can sort it all out in the morning.”


    Grace in a White Jetta

    I didn’t hesitate. I didn’t even think about the fact that I was letting a barefoot stranger drive me home in the middle of the night. That’s how safe he made me feel.

    On the way, I nervously joked about my car being stolen or stripped. He just smiled. “It won’t be,” he said, like he knew something I didn’t.

    He dropped me off, wished me well, and drove off into the night. No numbers exchanged. No dramatic farewell. Just gone.


    Looking Back

    It took me a while to process what happened that night. But the more I reflect, the more I believe that man wasn’t just some helpful stranger. The odds of a barefoot guy in white pulling over, having just enough coins, and making me feel totally safe?

    That’s not luck.

    That’s grace.

    In a city as wild and unpredictable as Johannesburg, on a night that could’ve gone horribly wrong, I was protected. Delivered. Helped by someone who showed up out of nowhere, with nothing, and gave me everything I needed in that moment.

    “For He will command His angels in regard to you, to protect and defend and guard you in all your ways.” – Psalm 91:11

  • Loved Like Mary: A Moment in the Garden at St. Dominic’s

    This morning, I find myself sitting quietly in the garden at St. Dominic’s Home for the Aged in Houston, Texas. It’s a sacred little oasis—a place where time seems to slow just enough for the soul to catch its breath. The paths are lined with statues of Mary, her expression soft and maternal, and there are kneeling benches scattered among the flowers, inviting passersby to pause and pray. It’s a garden made for reflection—built for hearts seeking comfort, clarity, and connection with the divine.

    As I sat on one of those benches with my Bible open and the soft rustle of leaves above me, I felt a tender whisper in my heart—one I believe came from the Lord Himself.

    “I love you as much as I love My mother.”

    The words stopped me.

    They were too weighty to rush past, too beautiful to disregard. I sat in stillness, letting them wash over me, and found myself contemplating the mystery and mercy of such a love.

    Mary—blessed, chosen, revered—was entrusted with the sacred role of bringing Jesus into the world. She was obedient, humble, and full of grace. And yet, she was also fully human. Not divine. Not a part of the Godhead. But a willing vessel.

    It occurred to me: if God could use her humanity—her ordinary earthly existence—for such an extraordinary purpose, how much more might He desire to use mine now that I carry the Holy Spirit within me?

    It’s a thought that might raise eyebrows in some circles, particularly among those who deeply venerate Mary, and I mean no disrespect. In fact, sitting among the statues and symbols honoring her here in the garden, I feel only peace. I understand why people pray to her—it’s not unlike talking to our own mothers. A gesture of affection, familiarity, and trust.

    But the deeper revelation that settled in my soul today is this: Jesus doesn’t love me less than He loves Mary. He loves me just as much. And the plans He has for me—even in this later season of life—are not lesser than the plan He had for her. They are simply different. Still sacred. Still meaningful. Still full of eternal weight.

    In the stillness of this garden, surrounded by symbols of Mary’s faithfulness and the echoes of prayers whispered through decades, I feel more aware than ever of how much I am seen, known, and loved by the Lord.

    And if you’re reading this today, I hope you remember that too.

    He loves you just as much as He loves her.

    Let that truth sink deep.

  • Angels in TJ: The Night I Got Lost in Mexico and Was Found by Grace

    Some stories are too wild to be fiction — and too full of grace to be coincidence.

    This is one of them.

    It’s a true story from a chapter of my life I’ve never forgotten — a night I found myself alone, lost in the chaos of Tijuana, Mexico in 1986, without a passport, a plan, or anyone to call. What started as a carefree Friday night ended in fear, prayer, and an encounter that still gives me chills.

    I believe in angels. Not the kind with harps and halos, but the kind who walk in denim and white shirts, speak peace into panic, and show up right when heaven hears your cry.

    This is the story of how I got lost — and how God sent help when I needed it most.

    Angels at the Border Checkpoint

    The Missionary and the Miracle

    David Livingstone, the great Scottish missionary and explorer, once recounted a chilling moment during his travels through Africa. A local tribal chief had planned to kill him and his companions that night. But mysteriously, the attack never happened. Much later, that same chief confessed to Livingstone that he had indeed come to murder them — but he and his men had seen 39 armed warriors encircling Livingstone’s camp, and out of fear, turned back.

    Livingstone was stunned. He had no guards. But when he later shared this story at his home church in Scotland, one of the members stood up and said, “That night, 39 of us were praying for you.”

    That story has always moved me — not just because of the divine protection it reveals, but because I too once found myself in danger, and I too was rescued in a way that felt nothing short of miraculous.

    My brush with the supernatural happened one wild Friday night in Tijuana, Mexico.

    Laundry Room Encounter

    It all started one Saturday, shortly after moving into my new apartment. The building had a laundry room, and I figured I’d get a load done like a responsible adult.

    I walked in and immediately froze in the doorway. Standing there, bent over a machine in a pair of baggies, was what looked like a walking surf ad—sun-bleached scruffy hair, broad muscly shoulders, and then, when he turned around, the bluest eyes I had ever seen outside of a perfume commercial.

    “Hey, how are you!” he said with a big California grin.

    We started chatting—about South Africa (my accent gave me away), Durban (he was weirdly excited about the apparently world-famous weed), and life in general.

    Before I knew it, we were perched on top of the machines like old friends, folding laundry and swapping life stories. Then he asked, “Have you ever been to TJ?”

    I had in fact been to Tijuana with my cousin and some friends one Saturday. It was also a good two hour drive down to the Mexican town on the US/Mexico border.

    “NO but have you been at night?”, he asked.

    I said I hadn’t and so he said “You must come with me on Friday?”

    Uh-Oh

    And despite the fact that I had a fiancé back home, I said, “OK.” (Don’t judge me—I was young, curious, and clearly dazzled by surfer charisma.)

    I was warned

    My cousin, with whom I was staying at the time, was a little horrified and nervous. South Africans were not allowed in Mexico because of the sanctions against South Africa because of apartheid. I convinced him that this guy would look after me.

    The night finally arrived!

    Friday night finally rolled around, and I was a bundle of nerves and excitement. This was it — my date with surfer-dude! I carefully selected my outfit, which, in hindsight, screamed “young Christian girl from the suburbs trying to look worldly.”

    I wore a purple pencil skirt (lovingly sewn by my fiancé’s mother back in South Africa, bless her misguided heart), a white blouse, my best white “Princess Di” pumps — and to top it off, a permed 80s bouffant so voluminous it needed its own seatbelt. Honestly, I looked like I was going to a church tea party in 1985. Which, to be fair, and considering this was 1986, was sort of my fashion inspiration.

    My cousin, suspicious and slightly overprotective, declared he’d be present to inspect surfer-dude upon arrival. Probably hoping he could telepathically shame me out of going.

    The doorbell rang and my heart did a backflip. I sat on the couch facing away from the door while my cousin opened it. I could only see my cousin’s face — which instantly drained of color, like he’d just seen a ghost, or worse, a tax inspector.

    I thought, Wow! He must be as smitten with surfer-dude’s good looks as I am!

    Then surfer-dude walked in.

    Dear Reader, I too turned ghost white.

    Gone was the sun-kissed, beach-blond Adonis from the laundry room. In his place stood Billy Idol’s rebellious second cousin — the one who got kicked out of punk band practice for being too extreme.

    His once tousled blonde beach hair was now sculpted into a Mohawk so sharp it could slice bread. A giant black lightning bolt was painted across one cheek like a tribal tattoo from the Book of Bad Decisions. His ears sparkled — not from jewelry, but from a full runway of safety pins marching up both sides like tiny metallic centipedes.

    He wore a black leather jacket covered in studs and chains (because zippers are for the emotionally stable), skintight leather pants that looked like they’d been applied with oil, and heavy black boots with silver studs that could tenderize a rump roast just by looking at it.

    I sat there blinking like someone who’d just opened the door to Narnia and found out it was hosting a biker convention.

    My cousin stared at me. With VERY big eyes.

    I stared at my cousin. We both silently screamed, Abort mission!

    But the words never came.

    So I grabbed my handbag, hitched up my mother-in-law-made skirt, and followed Punk Rock Armageddon out the door like this was the most normal Friday night ever.

    Driving to Mexico

    We climbed into his large red pickup truck — a vehicle so big I needed a small trampoline just to get into it. As we cruised south toward the border, I began to relax. Miraculously, Billy Idol’s persona had disappeared and Surfer-Dude was back. He was charming again, chatty, me trying very hard not to notice that my date looked like he’d crawled out of a Mad Max sequel.

    He told me, with the enthusiasm of a Labrador puppy, that we’d be meeting up with his friend “Doc,” who, according to him, was an incredible dancer. I imagined some sleek, salsa-swinging, Patrick Swayze-type character. In my mind, I was now the lucky girl about to be flung gracefully between two rhythmically gifted men like the rose between two very funky thorns.

    We arrived in Tijuana and, miraculously, found parking close to the border. That in itself should have been a sign from heaven — or perhaps a warning. The gates were flung wide open like Disneyland for college kids—if Disneyland had tequila.

    You see, in Mexico, the legal drinking age is 18. Combine that with cheap tequila and no parental supervision, and voilà — welcome to TJ: the official training ground for tomorrow’s hangovers.

    We joined the crowd, and I did my best to look worldly and unbothered, despite being wrapped in a homemade skirt and clutching my tiny handbag like it contained nuclear codes. We passed rows of Mexican vendors enthusiastically grilling “sausages” on makeshift grills over little roadside fires.

    Now, if you weren’t paying close attention, it all smelled delightfully meaty and vaguely adventurous. But I had been previously warned by fellow South Africans: do not, under any circumstances, eat the sausages. Unless, of course, you’d always dreamed of biting into a well-dressed rodent marinated in motor oil and mystery.

    So I smiled politely, kept my nose in the air, and power-walked past the “ratwurst” brigade.

    The street soon transformed into what Americans affectionately call The Golden Mile — a stretch of clubs, lights, music, and regret waiting to happen. It was a neon-lit buffet of bad decisions, and we were about to dive right in.

    And honestly, at this point, I still thought we were just going out dancing.

    We weaved through the crowd like salmon swimming upstream, eventually arriving at a dingy staircase that led to what I assumed was a club. Up the dark stairs we went, and boom — we were on the dance floor.

    When he spoke about Doc earlier, I naturally had pictured a chill surfer type with sun-bleached hair and maybe a backwards cap.

    Not even close.

    Out of the fog machine haze and frantic strobe lighting emerged a towering Black man who looked like a cross between Mr. Clean and a tribal warrior from the future. He was bald, except for a single, determined plait of hair that sprouted from the middle of his forehead and swung with purpose like it had its own personality.

    Dancing with Doc!

    Doc gave a brief nod — a silent “yo” — and then jerked his head toward the dance floor like a general leading his troops into battle.

    Now let me set the stage: the extent of my dance background was performing ABBA routines in a friend’s living room to impress her parents. I was more “Dancing Queen” than “dance floor queen,” but I figured — how hard could this be?

    Well.

    Turns out, Doc and my Billy Idol lookalike had moves that could only be described as interpretive martial arts. Arms were flailing like spaghetti in a wind tunnel, legs were kicking like caffeinated can-can dancers, and Doc’s head was bobbing up and down so violently that his hair-plait had turned into an actual whip. I swear it whistled when it sliced through the air.

    It was chaos. It was wild. It was… apparently mesmerizing.

    Before I knew it, the dance floor had cleared around us like we were breakdance royalty. A human circle had formed, and I — Heaven help me — was in the middle of it. People were watching. People were cheering. I was becoming part of the floor show.

    And friends, I was not ready to be a floor show.

    Unable to take the spotlight (or the fear of being decapitated by Doc’s hair-whip) any longer, I frantically motioned to my date that I needed a bathroom break. I think he got the message — or he thought I was doing interpretive mime. Either way, off I scuttled.

    Now, if you’ve never used a club bathroom in Tijuana, count your blessings. This one was… an experience. Imagine a horror movie bathroom, but add graffiti, no toilet paper, and a smell that could singe your eyelashes. I did what I had to do, avoided making eye contact with the mirror (because I think it blinked at me), and returned to the dance floor — mentally prepared to be whipped into oblivion once again.

    Except… they were gone.

    Vanished. Poof. No Billy Idol. No Doc. No plait.

    Alone in the Golden Mile

    Just me. Alone. In TJ. In a purple pencil skirt. I began to walk around the club, trying to find them. I wandered and wandered, and after half an hour, fear started to gnaw at the pit of my stomach. I worried they had gone to another club and left me behind. I searched the club for another fifteen minutes before looking for them at other clubs.

    Back on the street, I did what every good Christian girl abandoned by her Billy Idol date in Mexico does: I wandered up and down the Golden Mile like a confused tourist who’d taken a wrong turn on the way to Bible study. This infamous stretch was bursting at the seams with clubs, restaurants, and an alarming number of establishments advertising things that I’m pretty sure my mother would need prayer counseling just to read out loud.

    I probably got halfway down the Golden Mile before realizing it was getting late. All the establishments were beginning to empty as the teenagers headed back to the American side of the border before midnight.

    I became increasingly panicked as I contemplated what I would do without a passport to get back into America. The streets were emptying quickly as the Americans re-entered their own country. A few local Mexican street vendors were leering at me muttering spicy remarks in Spanish that need translating to me blush seeing I was clearly out of my depth in my little purple pencil skirt and white shirt. I wandered around with a completely bewildered look on my face.

    I tried to find the first club where we started the evening and where I lost my date and Doc. But by now, every door and doorway to a club looked the same. I tried one, but it wasn’t the right place. I looked around and eventually realized that I wouldn’t find them on this side of the border.

    Lost and deserted in TJ

    So, without a clue what to do next, I started the walk back to the border post. By now, the streets were completely empty except for a few American stragglers still making their way through the border gates. I stood there, looking at the border post, frozen in terror and utterly unsure of what to do next.

    The only thing that came to mind was to pray the only prayer I could think of in my panic – the Lord’s Prayer. So, under my breath, I began, “Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be your name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven…….”

    As I stood there, once again glued to the floor and silently praying the Lord’s Prayer, a man’s voice behind me said, “Hey, are you OK?” I turned around and saw two young men, possibly in their early twenties, wearing white shirts and blue jeans. Because they were dressed the same, I thought they might have been waiters at a restaurant or bar or something.

    I was about to explain that nothing was okay—but instead, I burst into tears. One of the young men stepped forward gently and asked, “Hey, how can we help you?” Through broken sentences, between sniffs and tears, I told them I was South African. I explained that I had come on a date, but he had deserted me. I told them that I been searching for him for hours, and now I had no idea how to get back into the United States because I didn’t have my passport.

    One of them looked at me with quiet confidence and said, “Don’t worry. We’ll help you.” There was no hesitation. No judgement. Just calm, steady reassurance from two strangers who seemed to know exactly what to do.

    Without fuss, he laid out a simple plan. We would walk together toward the border post. He would go first, I would follow, and his friend would come last. As each of us passed through the gate, we’d say just one word: “States.” He’d say it first, I’d echo it, and then the friend behind me would say it last. It was a code of sorts—something the border control officials recognized as a sign that we were American teenagers returning from a night out.

    It was a fragile plan, but in that moment, it felt like grace.

    Once again, I found myself placing my trust in the hands of complete strangers. But this time, instead of fear, I felt an unexpected and overwhelming peace. Just knowing someone was willing to help, lifted the weight that had been pressing on my chest all night.

    My heart was POUNDING as we approached the turnstiles at the border post. We moved forward exactly as planned. The first guy stepped up and said, “States.” And went through the turnstile. I followed with my own quiet, “States.” Then the friend behind me echoed it. Just like that, without hesitation or question, we were through.

    Saved by a wing and a prayer

    And before I could fully take in what had happened—I was back on American soil.

    I can’t remember what we talked about as we walked back toward the car—maybe the adrenaline was still too high, or maybe I was simply too relieved to care. But there it was: my date’s red pickup truck, parked exactly where we had left it hours earlier.

    I pointed it out, and one of the guys asked, “Well, do you want us to take you home?”

    I shook my head. “No, I’ll just wait in his truck.”

    As much as I appreciated their kindness, I didn’t want to press my luck. I knew Billy Idol hadn’t crossed back through the border yet, so I figured it was safest to wait for him there.

    I found the truck unlocked, climbed in, and locked the doors behind me. I sat there for a while before finally lying back on the seat, completely overwrought and exhausted. Before long, I drifted off to sleep.

    I don’t know how long I’d been asleep when I heard the driver’s door open and my date’s voice: “Oh, there you are.”

    By then, I was furious. I can’t remember exactly what was said, but he offered some excuse about he and Doc having stayed in that first club the entire time I’d been searching for them in the streets of Mexico. I argued, insisting I had searched that club thoroughly before venturing out.

    Despite it all, the ride home was quiet. All I felt was relief that I’d live to tell the story another day.

    Here’s the thing about that night—something I only discovered years later. While I was lost, bewildered, and alone, searching for my date and Doc, my mom was at her desk during the day in South Africa when she suddenly felt a strong impression in her spirit that something was wrong. She felt a tightening around her heart and knew she needed to pray for me. She and my dad began to pray fervently in the spirit on my behalf.

    I honestly believe those two young men who appeared out of nowhere, when everyone else had vanished, were angels sent to guide me out of a potentially life-threatening situation—just like the 39 angels who protected David Livingstone.

    That night showed me just how powerful prayer can be, especially the prayers of a parent. Even though my mom was thousands of miles away, working quietly at her desk, her spirit was deeply connected to mine. Her prayers, filled with love and desperation, crossed oceans and time zones to surround me with protection when I felt utterly lost. It’s a beautiful and humbling reminder that no matter where we are, the prayers of those who love us can be a lifeline, a shield, and a source of hope when we need it most.

    I often think back to that night in Mexico—the fear, the loneliness, the panic that clutched at my chest like a vice. But then I remember the peace that followed. It came not from logic or planning, but from something deeper, unseen. It came with two young men who appeared just when hope seemed lost. They didn’t have wings or halos. They didn’t shine or sing. But they knew exactly what to do. And I knew—deep down—that they weren’t just any strangers. They were sent.

    Scripture tells us that God commands His angels concerning us, to guard us in all our ways (Psalm 91:11). I believe in that promise. Not just as poetry or metaphor—but as a living, breathing truth. Angels may not always look like the stained-glass images we’ve grown up seeing, but they’re real. They move when we call out to God. They show up when there’s no one else left. They walk beside us, unseen but present, especially when danger closes in and we are at our weakest.

    That night, I didn’t just get rescued. I was protected. Covered. Surrounded by grace I could not see, but could absolutely feel. And I believe it was the prayers of my parents—tuned to heaven—that moved God’s hand to send help. When we pray, especially when we pray for our children, we invite heaven to stand guard. We unleash angels to fight battles we can’t even see. And sometimes, they show up in denim and white shirts, speaking peace and guiding us home.