For most of my life, I lived with what I now recognize as a Cinderella Complex—the belief that I was the helpless princess waiting for a handsome prince to rescue me. That mindset led me through a series of painful relationships, a disastrous marriage, and eventually a heartbreaking divorce. In an attempt to escape the pain of living near my ex-husband and the woman he left me for, I rushed into another marriage—this time to a Christian man—hoping he would be the one to finally make me whole. But in reality, it felt like I had jumped from the frying pan into the fire.
In the midst of my confusion and heartache, I’ve had many honest conversations with God. I’ve told Him I don’t ever want to miss His will again. And through different confirmations, He’s shown me that He is interested in this marriage—that there are deep, precious lessons He wants to teach me through it, lessons that will ultimately bring glory to His name. The very first one He began to reveal was the true role of a wife.
She wasn’t created as an assistant. She was created as an answer.
Somewhere along the way, the word “helper” was watered down — turned into something quiet, background, optional. But in God’s eyes, the woman was never a backup plan. She was a divine solution.
🌧 A World Half Covered
Imagine a battlefield. A soldier stands alone, armor on, sword shaking in his hand. The enemy surrounds him. He’s called by God to stand, to lead — but every arrow coming at him is finding its mark. He wasn’t built to do this alone.
Then someone steps onto the battlefield. Not behind him — beside him. Shield raised. Eyes sharp. Praying under her breath. Covering his back.
This is ēzer.
1. “Helper” — The Word That Describes God
“I will make a helper suitable for him.” – Genesis 2:18
The Hebrew word for helper is ʿēzer. And most of the time this word appears in the Bible, it’s referring to God Himself.
- “The Lord is my help (ʿēzer) and my shield.” – Psalm 33:20
- “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help (ʿēzer) in trouble.” – Psalm 46:1
So when God said Eve would be Adam’s “helper”, He wasn’t talking about an assistant or a housekeeper.
He was describing someone who would reflect His own nature — His strength, His support, His presence in the battle.
Eve was created to:
- Stand beside Adam as an equal and strong ally
- Protect him in prayer and purpose
- Strengthen him when he is weary
- Carry God’s presence and wisdom into the home
- War spiritually on his behalf, like God wars for us
This is not a weak design. It is a warrior’s design.
2. A Helper Who Covers — Not Controls
Being an ēzer does not mean:
- Controlling your husband
- Criticizing him when he fails
- Acting superior or self-righteous
It means:
- Praying when he is under attack
- Encouraging when he feels inadequate
- Speaking life when he hears only failure
- Standing firm in faith when he can’t
- Covering him — like God covers us
Submission is not silence, and helping is not weakness.
It’s choosing to fight — but fighting for him, not against him.
3. Why Your Role Matters More Than You Know
Men carry a weight from God — the call to lead, protect, provide, and carry responsibility. But God never intended for him to do it alone. Eve was the answer to “It is not good for man to be alone.”
Without an ēzer:
- His faith can grow tired
- His vision can become blurred
- His heart can grow isolated
With an ēzer:
- His faith is strengthened
- His purpose is sharpened
- His heart is covered in prayer
Satan hates marriages like this — because a praying wife is dangerous.
4. Scriptures to Stand On
Here are key verses that reveal the power of a woman’s role:
| Scripture | What It Shows About a Wife’s Role |
|---|---|
| Genesis 2:18 | God created her as an ēzer — a strong ally. |
| Proverbs 31:12 | She brings her husband good, not harm, all her days. |
| Proverbs 31:23 | Her husband is respected — because of her influence. |
| 1 Peter 3:7 | She is a co-heir of grace — equal before God. |
| Ephesians 5:21–25 | Marriage is mutual submission and sacrificial love. |
| Proverbs 31:25 | “She is clothed with strength and dignity.” |
5. A Prayer for Wives to Pray Over Their Husbands
Lord, thank You for the gift of my husband.
Thank You for calling me to be his ēzer — his God-given ally, intercessor, and encourager.
Today, I stand in prayer over his life.
Cover his heart with Your peace.
Strengthen his mind with Your truth.
Protect him from the lies of the enemy and the weight of this world.
Give me wisdom to speak life and love, not criticism.
Teach me to fight for him on my knees — not with my words.
Let our marriage reflect Your heart: unity, honor, strength, and grace.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
💛 Final Thought
You were never called to be silent or small — you were called to be essential.
To stand beside, not behind.
To cover, not control.
To help — with the strength of the One who helps you.
This is the power of Eve. This is the calling of every woman who chooses to walk in God’s original design.
Tales from the Tangled Trail 